Hannabe: So what’s in your garbage?

Some people throw away good stuff. It’s how they live clutter-free, I guess. I wouldn’t know. When I find good stuff our across-the-alley neighbors have discarded in our common garbage bin, I extract it.

My latest finds? A couple of skeletons and a nice clean little runner-type rug that’s perfect for our little camp trailer. It’s under my feet at this very moment.

Give me a little credit for not keeping the skeletons. They were a little damaged — probably because they were treated like trash when they were removed from the front lawn. What’s more, they were entangled in a fake spider web that complicated my on-site task of reconstructing either of them. I ended up re-trashing both except I kept one skull for Mark, my friend Terri’s grandson.

Mark is 5 and is fascinated with all sorts of skeletons and other things similarly macabre.

Report from Terri:

Mark loved the skull! When Terri gave it to him, he and his visiting playmate started moving the jaw to make it talk. Just think, that skull could have gone straight to the landfill, movable jaw notwithstanding. I’m smiling.

That family across the alley will probably buy all new skeletons next year. Or maybe they’ll buy ghosts and witches instead. If you don’t keep your Halloween decorations year to year, you get to change things up. You knew that.

Me, I grew up in a family that saved even the icicles off the Christmas tree. The only thing we got new every year was the tree. The icicles back then were the heavy metal kind — heavy compared to the plastic ones that eventually replaced them.

RESEARCH.

The centuries-old history of Christmas tree icicles has more twists and turns than the tinsel itself. Not that we ever called our icicles tinsel. I remember thinking, however, that our so-called icicles looked nothing like real icicles. It was an early lesson in the deceptive naming of all sorts of stuff, except I can’t think now of any other examples.

But you know what I mean.

Why do I write all this stuff that you know already?

Because great literature speaks to the universal human experience.

As for those heavy icicles, they contained lead — hence, their weightiness. They’re now illegal. Wow, illegal icicles! If I look long enough in the attic, maybe I can find some old ones. I’ll be torn between whether to toss them or use them. There’s something exhilarating about ignoring the law. You knew that too.

Our farmhouse attic, needless to say, needs decluttering. It’s got windows. If we park a trash trailer in the yard, I can toss stuff down into it. If I were a tosser.

At the moment, I’m wondering what to do with my latest Burger King toy. It’s a long-haired witch with a comb. After I comb her long hair, I’ll give her to Mark.

Advice to clutterers:

Find yourself a 5-year-old — just not Mark. He’s taken.

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